Ryan Conklin And Wrenching Pathos

March 18, 2009

Ryan Real World BrooklynI watched episode 11 of The Real World Brooklyn, in which Ryan gets the notice that he was being called back to Iraq. Like most people I knew how it was going to end, but that still didn’t prepare me for the actual experience of watching it. Most of the show was additional awe producing displays of what an intricate and impressive person Ryan Conklin is. For someone like me who is trying to figure out what makes this person tick, it really throws one for a loop. Too much to understand.

Then came the inevitable finale.

I feel so numb. It’s like in a dream when you know exactly what bad thing is about to happen and you want desperately to change it but no plea can avert it. You want to reach out to someone, anyone, to make it stop.

Every week, with every episode and all the video clips, I become more in awe of Ryan. Unbelievable. Incredible. My mind can’t comprehend how all the parts of Ryan fit together in one person. I try to understand, but he’s like a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle for which there is no picture guide.

Ryan’s story is entertaining and riveting and emotionally draining. It provides hours of fascinating distraction.

But now I just want to know that everything’s going to be okay. Please be okay.


Real World Brooklyn Ryan Conklin Back To Iraq

March 11, 2009

Ryan Real World BrooklynIf you have seen my previous post on Ryan Conklin back in uniform, then the preview for episode 11 of The Real World Brooklyn is no surprise. In the preview, Ryan gets the call from home that he has received notice that he is being called back to active duty.

He went back into the army in February, several weeks ago. He said it would be February on MySpace and that’s when he disappeared from regular activity on iamonmtv.com and on his MySpace account.

I know he has been at Fort Jackson in South Carolina and then Fort Benning in Georgia around this time. Fort Jackson and Fort Benning are places that do refresher training for reactivated IRR soldiers.

Then I learned that he is being redeployed to Iraq on April 15th. That’s just 2 weeks after his 24th birthday. Be sure to wish him happy birthday on April 1st and let him know you care.

I’ve already commented on my feelings about this at the link above and below. Please feel free to comment here or at either of those two on how you feel.

Seeing Ryan called back to Iraq.


Writing To Ryan Conklin

February 20, 2009

Ryan Real World BrooklynLooking at comments to Ryan Conklin (of Real World Brooklyn) that girls have written in various places, I can’t believe how moronic so many of them sound. It’s no wonder that Ryan is so turned off by typical girl talk. He may be a prankster and fun loving, but he’s almost 24 and not likely to be interested in fan girl speak, especially from adult women. His first girlfriend was a pharmacy major for goodness sake. That’s the level of goal oriented woman he would want to be with, not someone texting while watching Hannah Montana.

As a public service I will provide here to his female fans what I think are some helpful hints.

When writing to him,

  • don’t use exclamation points at the end of every sentence. If you really are that excited, try taking a Valium before writing.
  • don’t shout individual words in all caps. It’s harsh on the eyes and the ears and makes you look like you have typing Tourette’s.
  • don’t misspell a word with repeated letters. Saying you loooooove him says you are drunk or have fallen asleep on the keyboard.
  • don’t use ‘U’ instead of you. He would like an educated person, not a girl who cheated on her GED.
  • don’t say you are not a stalker. The only people who do, are.
  • don’t try to make an impression by being excessively fawning about him or his music; he’s not stupid.
  • Do try to be unique, informative, and funny. Ryan would be interested in someone a lot like himself. So be more like Janeane Garofalo and less like a 12 year old at a Jonas Brothers concert.


    Ryan Conklin Has The Kavorka

    February 19, 2009

    Ryan Real World BrooklynRyan Conklin of The Real World Brooklyn is cute but not beautiful. His 5’8″ body is pretty good but not remarkable. He can be funny and charming but also sarcastic and harsh. Yet despite these things, women find him to be irresistible. Ryan has the kavorka.

    As defined on the television series Seinfeld, the Latvian word kavorka means “the lure of the animal”. It is explained that women (and in this case some men) are drawn to a person that has it. They would give anything to be possessed by that person.

    I don’t know if the Latvian language has a variation for this, but with Ryan it seems more like “the lure of the (stuffed) animal”. He can be just so darn adorable when he turns on his boyish charm. He knows how to do the head forward and down look, like when he is singing or when he is acting like a good listener as he did when he was talking to Katelynn Cusanelli about her surgery.

    It also helps that he is a real life, self-assured G.I. Joe action figure, complete with changeable hats and removable mustache.

    The magic in this kavorka power is that it seems to cause women to forget his temper, his non-positive comments about girls, and his somewhat uncertain career path. All that women care about is that they must run their fingers through that irresistible baseball cap shaped hair and look into his beckoning eyes as he serenades about tampons or other feminine hygiene products.

    His kavorka lure may have been a good thing for Ryan Conklin when contained in his little town of Gettysburg, but now that its effect has gone nationwide it may be too much for him. You’ll know he’s reached that point when you see him at the Giant grocery store buying ten cloves of garlic, three quarts of vinegar, six ounces…


    Brett Novek Acting Up

    February 16, 2009

    Brett NovekBecause Brett Novek performed in director David DeCoteau’s movie Brotherhood V: Alumni, I sent Mr. DeCoteau a message asking what it was like working with Brett. Here is his response, dated January 20, 2009:

    Just had dinner with Brett tonight. He’s doing great and looks better than ever. He did a great job for me in THE BROTHERHOOD V: ALUMNI and we are planning on working together again soon. Brett is a real sweetheart and is VERY serious about his acting.

    In fact, Brett has already been cast in another DeCoteau movie, Nighfall, with filming in February and a theoretical release date of June, 2009.

    BTW, it looks like Brett is appearing in an episode of Criminal Minds on April 8th.


    Brett Novek Singing

    February 15, 2009

    Below is a link to a video of Brett Novek singing “Stand by Me” with actor friend Jon Fleming. Jon is known for playing the role of Adam in the gay horror soap, Dante’s Cove.

    I like the Brett hairstyle, not so much the singing.

    It’s good to see that Brett still has the sparkle in the eye.

    Brett Novek Singing


    Ryan Conklin

    January 27, 2009

    Ryan ConklinAt the beginning of every new season of The Real World I watch at least part of the first episode to see if there are any people of interest that might give me a reason to keep watching. Unfortunately, in the previous five seasons I haven’t seen anything that would make me want to waste a minute watching that tripe. Needless to say, this made watching subsequent seasons of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge a challenge as I wondered who all of the new extra people were.

    I should point out that I had been an avid viewer of the show beginning with episode one of season one, all the way through Philadelphia, with the notable exceptions of the Las Vegas sleaze-fest and the irrelevant San Diego. So I’m open to finding a cast or even a cast member that I care enough about to give me a reason to watch again.

    The problem has been that the production company as been too intent on creating immediate hook-ups and excessive drama by casting mainly very loose and shallow men and women plus a couple of scary psychotics. Production lost sight of the key to Real World‘s success, which is not the inane activities of the cast, but rather the gradual exploration and unveiling of the cast’s personalities. With cast members that are only a plastic veneer on an inner core of plastic, this type of character development hasn’t been possible.

    Having seen the opening installments of the latest season, Real World Brooklyn, I can happily report that there is again someone in the cast who makes it worthwhile to select “record this showing” on my Tivo. That castmember is Ryan Conklin, the aspiring musician/film maker who is a former infantryman in the U.S. Army. Not only is he entertaining to watch, but he leaves you wanting to know more about him.

    Ryan Real World Brooklyn

    On of the most intriguing aspects of Ryan Conklin is his experience in the military. While he is a stereotypical soldier who doesn’t mind shooting at things and likes to blow stuff up, he’s also a creative type, who writes and sings songs and who authored a 300 page manuscript about his time in Iraq. He joined the Army because of the effect of 9/11 on him, but he leans Democrat and supported Obama. He’s rightfully proud of his service, but he doesn’t tell the Brooklyn cast about it right away because he wants make sure that others don’t prejudge him and that they have a chance to see and appreciate the full scope of his well-rounded character. These are some of the things that make Ryan a person who is compelling to be understood.

    Ryan Real World Brooklyn

    While Ryan Conklin has received cheers for his lighthearted jokes, songs and conversation, he has also attracted some jeers for his comments about transgendered roommate Katelynn Cusanelli, his initial interactions with gay roommate JD Ordornez, and his theatrics after being kissed by drag queen Peppermint. Some dullards have mistakenly and far too simplistically labeled Ryan as some kind of homophobe, but I’m not buying it. Reality TV editing makes easy conclusions for people who don’t like to think at all and in this case it gives something to glance and boo at to those kind of people who want a one-dimensional anti-gay person that they can criticize. On the other other hand, to those willing to fire a few neurons and look at the outtakes and some of the interviews, it can be seen that Ryan is pretty cool for a straight guy. It takes time for straights to unlearn prejudice and Ryan has shown he is on his way and willing to be more open in the future. Being friends with a gay man, realizing that being admired is a compliment, and even visiting a gay bar are good steps. He’s going to be fine. People shouldn’t expect a 23 year old only recently out of the army to be more than this yet.

    Ryan Real World Brooklyn

    Ryan A. Conklin has a good head on his shoulders but he also has his less intellectual side, as seen by his singing “The Tampon Song”. For this reason, I don’t mind stating that I can appreciate him for more shallow reasons as well. He didn’t have me at “hello”, but he certainly had my attention when he was lounging in his shorts, showing those hairy legs. Sustenance for the mind as well as the eyes.

    Ryan Real World Brooklyn


    Brett Novek In Brotherhood V Trailer

    January 18, 2009

    Someone has finally posted the Brotherhood V: Alumni movie trailer on YouTube, so now I can link to it. The movie had originally been scheduled to be released on 12/19/08, but that has been pushed back until at least February, 2009.

    I like David DeCoteau’s work anyway and would have wanted to see this film no matter what, but with Brett Novek in it I eagerly look forward to it being available somewhere someday. Some scenes look steamy.

    Brotherhood V: Alumni Trailer


    Brett Novek In Brotherhood V: Alumni

    October 31, 2008

    Brett Novek stars and gets top billing in a new horror flick by one of the most renown directors of the genre, David DeCoteau. The movie is The Brotherhood V: Alumni, the latest edition in DeCoteau’s series of fraternal based fright films. The filming wrapped at end of September and the (limited) theatrical release date is 12/19/08.

    For those who are familiar with and like DeCoteau’s work, you will probably not be disappointed in the viewing experience that this movie will provide, especially seeing Brett get the usual DeCoteau treatment. For those not familiar, let me say that whereas the average horror film has women walking around and being chased while inexplicably in their underwear, DeCoteau helps to balance the playing field by showing far more realistic scenes of men hanging around and being terrorized while wearing only their boxer briefs. HoYay!

    Synopsis: “Who killed Leslie on prom night? Was it the hunky high school football star, his pretty girlfriend, the mean-spirited flirt, the prankster, or the juvenile delinquent? Or, were they all culpable? Ancient grudges surface as the mayhem spreads amongst the most popular and attractive students at Sunnydale High.”

    Granted, it is low budget, but it’s still a movie and Brett getting a starring role is a big deal. Whether the movie comes to your city or not, you must see this movie. From what I have seen on the trailer, you will like it.

    Brett Novek

    Brett Novek

    Brett Novek

    Brett Novek


    Janice Dickinson New Models

    August 31, 2008

    With the start of each new season of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, there comes the inevitable introduction of new models. It is a situation that generates mixed emotions. On the one hand, it is interesting to see some new faces and to wonder how they will change the dynamics of the show. On the other hand, the addition of new models indicates that some of the previous models have been replaced and for those who remain, there will be less air time as they are forced to share Janice’s love and attention with the newcomers.

    It would be nice if the show could keep a core cast from year to year so that the characters could grow and the audience could get to know them better.

    New model Chandler Maness is a actor-model that appears to be a real actor and not another lame wannabe.

    Paul Vandervort is a diminutive print model who appears to have been cast because of an overly developed chest and abs. I’m not sure if it is ethical for the show to capitalize on obsessive/compulsive gym junkie behavior.

    I don’t know what to think about new model Gavyn Michaels yet. He actually looks like a male model. It’s not the first time that one has appeared on JDMA, but it is an unusual occurrence.


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