I watched episode 11 of The Real World Brooklyn, in which Ryan gets the notice that he was being called back to Iraq. Like most people I knew how it was going to end, but that still didn’t prepare me for the actual experience of watching it. Most of the show was additional awe producing displays of what an intricate and impressive person Ryan Conklin is. For someone like me who is trying to figure out what makes this person tick, it really throws one for a loop. Too much to understand.
Then came the inevitable finale.
I feel so numb. It’s like in a dream when you know exactly what bad thing is about to happen and you want desperately to change it but no plea can avert it. You want to reach out to someone, anyone, to make it stop.
Every week, with every episode and all the video clips, I become more in awe of Ryan. Unbelievable. Incredible. My mind can’t comprehend how all the parts of Ryan fit together in one person. I try to understand, but he’s like a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle for which there is no picture guide.
Ryan’s story is entertaining and riveting and emotionally draining. It provides hours of fascinating distraction.
But now I just want to know that everything’s going to be okay. Please be okay.